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Express Yourself

August 9, 2017

It was the Saturday before we were supposed to move to Nashville, it was hot as Hades outside (heat index of 103) and our A/C went out. I tried to play it cool, calm and collected, but if you know anything about me you must know I CANNOT HANDLE THE HEAT. (and also, I’m very rarely cool, calm or collected).


Between me and Bruce, our long-haired German Shepherd, we were struggling to get through the day.


My near saint of a husband (not always but certainly today) was motoring through and packing up box after box, giving Bruce cold baths, and vats of ice to help cool him off while I obsessively scrolled social media feeling the tension welling up inside of me.


Looking around at the massive Bruce hair balls all over our apartment, every counter top cluttered with miscellaneous items that were waiting to be put in moving boxes, there it was, the anxiety started creeping up to my throat. My breathing became more labored. My tongue became sharper. My attitude nothing short of a total B**** (note the capital B).


Dave being a man of action plans put his hands on my shoulders (I literally cringed from the extra body heat), and spelled out a 4 step action plan of suggestions. I not so nicely reminded him that just because he suggested something didn’t mean I had to do it. I rejected 3 out of the 4 suggestions - very rudely. Then I marched over to the sink and took his #1 suggestion of getting a big cup of ice water.


**several gulps later as I felt my body temperature cooling just a bit I asked Dave to come into our room.


I dug deep to find something closer to my “I love you” voice, and expressed to him that my anxiety was worse that day than it had been in a long time. The culmination of the packing and physical chaos in our house matched with my inability to handle the heat was not a good look.


Then I texted my BFF aka Christina and told her I was having anxiety.


The pressure in my chest calmed, I took a few thoughtful deep breaths--I realized that it really can be that simple. Express what you’re feeling. Don’t just sit in those crummy, soul crushing moments - feel it, own it, express it. My turn around time took a few hours from start to finish - that’s a win considering it has taken days in the past!


So that’s it y’all, EXPRESS YOURSELF!  


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