I had a childhood crush on Simba.
Your fish and guns don’t impress me.
I still watch Survivor and I’m damn proud of it.
Great at making cocktails, less great at retrieving things from high shelves.
What do all of these incredibly witty sentences have in common?
They have all, at one time or another, been a tagline for one of my online dating profiles before. Yes, one of. I don’t know why that is such a weird thing to admit in writing. Many people are on dating apps! Many people write about being on dating apps! (I guess I’m not as original and edgy as my mom thinks I am.)
Anyways, I look at these carefully crafted snippets of myself and I vainly think “damn, anyone swiping through would be lucky to come across my charm and hilarity. I mean, they’re on Tinder, they must be pretty desperate!” And almost immediately I transfer that feeling onto myself. "Ohhhhh wait. I’m on Tinder. And Bumble. And Hinge. Oh my! If I’m on all of these godforsaken applications, I must be desperate!" Cue the spiral of shame, self-pity, and Fritos. (If I’m going to be desperate and alone I should at least be well fed, right?).
I have found myself in this spot many times, trying to reconcile the fact that I am a single, 27 year old woman with roommates and everyone else seems to be coupling up around me.
That's when I take a step back. Once the pity party and the Fritos are laid to rest, I have a clearer head. And then I remember that I’m exactly where I want to be.
Yes, I am single. And here’s a not-so-secret secret...that’s totally ok! I am incredibly satisfied with who I am on my own. Now, there are things I don’t like about myself, such as the fact that I've had a severe crush on Chris Kattan circa 2002 and that sometimes I use sarcasm so much even I get confused. But, I have a strong sense of self. I don’t think I would have that if I hadn’t been single or close to single for so many years.
I have become who I am, warts and all, by changing and growing and reflecting as an individual, not as a couple.
Yes, I live with roommates. And that is dope! I’ve heard through the adult grapevine that by your late twenties you should be independent and living on your own and maybe starting a mortgage and that’s cool and all, but it’s also awesome to have a built in support system, TV buddies, dinner companions, and therapists (sorry about that last one to every room mate I’ve ever had). But seriously, I’ve managed to live with some top-notch people over the years and we have formed incredible non-romantic relationships.
And, yes, people are coupling up all around me. Some from the aforementioned apps! Good for you, truly. But I’m going to be over here living my life by and for myself for now.
Not because it makes me better or stronger than people who are coupled up, not because I need to prove anything, and not because I’m attempting to emulate Tracie Ellis Ross.
But because that’s where I am today.
I may be somewhere different tomorrow, but I’ll deal with that then. You see, I’m trying this crazy new fad about “being present” or whatever. So I’ll jump right back into that swipe game. Who knows? Could lead to something real. Could also just lead to some old fashioned fun. You won’t see me complaining.
With that being said...I need to go work on a new tagline :)